Tell Me About It: Regret and blaming do no one any good::
A reader asks: How do you get over regret? My husbands best friend died excuse her behavior, especially her blaming everyone, you need to be careful not
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Okay, so my hubby and I started TTC our first child about 3 years ago. It was a big decision for us, because previously, I had never wanted kids! So it was exciting to run out and tell the families. Everyone was so happy and anxiously awaiting us to get pregnant. Of course, it's three years later, and still no baby. :( Now, I feel like everyone sees me as 'poor mrs. infertility'. I get people telling me to be glad I can't get pregnant because kids are too much work. I get other people telling me to 'just relax'. I get other people telling me how to have sex (haha like I don't know???). Oh gosh, I've heard it all. I wish I could go back and not have told a soul! What can I do??? Thanks!
There are some days I wish everyone didnt know. We have been TTC for about a year and a half now. Its really tough to hide because I wear all my emotions on the outside and when living with my pregnant sister in law its very tough. I get tired of everyones comments and the fact that they dont listen to us. I would just suggest telling those who say the most things or those closest to you that it is a very sensitive subject and you would rather not talk about it at the moment. Have you tried seeing a doctor to find out whats wrong. Good luck and baby dust! mcycle.com is a great website for support and charting.
Most of my family knows we are TTC (#3) as well, its only our second month trying. but everyone asks all the time "are you pregnant yet", I know I haven't been trying as long as you have but I still wish I wouldn't have told as well.
YES YES YES I know what you mean!!! I wish everyday i never said a word! We TTC for a year before i said anything but now 3 years later still no baby!! and from the looks of there never will! I had surgery about 2 months ago in the hope they could unblock my tubes and instead they removed them! They were beond damage and fixing! So now the way is IVF and I don't just have 12000.00 just laying around and we have decided that we will not take out a loan for it! we have no time left to try to save money for it! so now I have to tell everyone why there is no baby! I want to die every time someone ask!s!!!!
I would tell them it will happen when it happens and I will tell you! So please dont ask me again!!
Yer, when we had our first IVF cycle everyone knew. We thought we would have no dramas getting pregnant. I have 5 kids and my husband has 4. Well we didnt get pregnant and are now doing the second cycle. I havent said anything about this cycle because I dont want the questions about it. We are lucky we have our children tho. It would be worse if we didnt. I dont want people asking me questions that only hurt me.
The Use and Abuse of Regret - Stepcase Lifehack::
I know Id tell myself to be careful with those credit cards and student loans I want to thank everyone who responded for their efforts.
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Keep your chin up.
LOL.
My bf made the mistake of telling his sister that we wanted to start trying. After he left the room, she scooched over to me on the couch and said to me (mind you - I am ONE YEAR older than she is) - "you know he has to like... go... IN you.. right? so.. no condoms... cos condoms prevent pregnancy." I was thinking, "oh my god. i wonder if this means she actually tried to get pregnant on condoms? i wish i weren't here. i wish i weren't here..."
She then said, "if you are too old to get pregnant (i'm in my 20s. again, she is ONE YEAR younger than I am) then I will do it for you. i will carry that baby for you if you guys need me to."
My god, I thought. She will be the last person to know this little tidbit.
Well my husband and I have only been TTC baby # 2 for two months and everyone is already asking us..."Are you pregnant yet!". Then when you tell them that you had a symptom that might mean pregnancy they go crazy. Sometimes it's best not to say a word that way they don't get all worked up. But it's to late now, so just politely tell them that when it's supposed to happen it will...and that they will be infored when it does happen.
Yes, this is what I would have said. You know what, three years is nothing to be worried about. I have an aunt who tried getting pregnant for 10 years, doctors told her that it was physically impossible. So she and her husband adopted 3 siblings. Then the next week, she was pregnant. They now have 6 natural children, so 9 total. Sometimes, God just has other plans waiting. I had a miscarriage the first time around and I got a lot of the sympathy too because I had been pretty far along. But when my first baby was born, I feel like it meant more to me that other moms because I really knew how fragile and precious the miracle of life is.
that's why i didn't tell anybody. i did not want to field all the questions and helpful suggestions. i did tell one person - our realtor (she asked if we intended to have kids and how many bedrooms we needed) - and she gave me some really ... detailed advice for conceiving. and that's why i don't tell anybody.
i guess you could tell everybody you have decided to wait a little longer and are back on the pill ...
aaawww sweety im in the same boat
i should of never said anything
now everyone asked us "So when is the baby here"???
Or "Are u pregnant already"???
or family say rumors and talk about us all the time
People at my work know because I have to take time off to go to the doctor. They figured it out pretty quick, as I work with all women. I hate when people gripe about their kids or tell me to just relax or to put my feet in the air after sex. If it were that simple, I'd have kids by now! Don't they realize it is a medical condition? If I had a disease, they wouldn't tell me to relax and it would all get better. I know they are well meaning, but in reality, it's very hurtful to the person trying and trying to get pregnant. Baby dust to you (and me).
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Do you regret telling everyone you're TTC?