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| Convincing parents to let me get another dog...? | | Published by: mike 2009-01-08 |
| | I'm sure this has been asked a gazillion times, but my circumstances I assure you are different.
I am 20 years old. I work as an assistant veterinarian. I am currently looking for a second job or even a different job that pays more and has benefits. However, I do still live at home.
We have a 3 year old Jack Russell terrier my mom fell in love with when she saw her at a pet shop. She's a great dog. Occasionally she has her moments, but she's brilliant.
I've been at the vet clinic for a year now and for the entire year I see puppies come and go and am always wishing I could take one home. Especially, these recent JRT pups. I love the tri-colored male and the people who are selling them are selling them VERY cheap because they are going out of the JRT breeding business due to nobody wanting any these days. They're even finding home for some of the parents.
I have the appropriate job. I get BIG discounts at my job. Those puppy visits for all the booster shots will be very cheap and I will be able to purchase all the necessities for this dog. I can afford it. And I obviously have the knowledge on how to care for a dog appropriately.
Yet, my parents hem and haul about it. I think a past experience with a rather awful lab/border collie mix of mine has them thinking I will repeat the past. In a nutshell, the dog was highly destructive, very independent, and stubborn as heck. I was upset then, but I understand why they had me take her to the SPCA. I was not ready financially to care for that dog and I was not ready to train that dog like she should have been. That and she was just one of those bad dogs.
My parents keep saying I don't need a dog of my own. Of course nobody needs a dog, but I want one. It's hard working at my job with other employees who have 4 dogs a piece and are buying new dogs every week and then there is me feeling like a young married woman who has friends having kids and I'm still kid-less. It's gotten to the point I want to leave the job just to leave the environment. It really hurts me emotionally.
Loss & Bereavement for Pet Owners::
People need to feel emotionally ready to get another pet before they can The profound effects of this loss, and how parents or other caregivers handle
http://www.vet.upenn.edu/PennVet/PennVetConnects/SocialWorkPetBereavementServices/LossBereavementforPetOwners/tabid/624/Default.aspxHOME |
I completely understand why my parents don't want me to have a dog. They know right now in 2 months I might end up in an apartment somewhere that doesn't allow dogs or move out of town completely. They are afraid I'll get the hellion dog, and nobody can guarantee a dog won't be bad because all of them are different. They're afraid of furniture being eaten. They think the dog will not be cared for. Etc.
Unlike the last dog, this one WOULD be kenneled during the day when nobody is home. We have a cage for a JRT-sized dog. Even if I did move where I can't take my dog, I'd take him as soon as I could and I'd still pay for all costs including possible damages and food costs. Everything.
Muzby, Maggie and Molly - Chat Room::
My Robbie is 3 and we are wanting another Avon. Let me know--thanks! . I am campaigning for that as I write but have some convincing yet to do!
http://www.terrierclub.com/myhome/muzby/chat.htmlHOME |
Parents & Socio-Emotional Nurturing - Elizabeth Meckstroth::
Oct 6, 2007 Here's another idea from Vivian Paley, "Let me see kindness. Simon spent an entire session convincing us parents and professionals that
http://austega.com/gifted/articles/Meckstroth_parenting.htmHOME |
I've approached my mom on the subject a couple times, but she turns a blind eye and does the whole "pretend her daughter is talking about something else" thing. Then her most recent argument to the subject is she doesn't want 2 crazy Jack Russells running around because ours is wild enough. I told her...they'd entertain one another. She just raises an eyebrow and has bad images I am sure.
And I am fully prepared to have to take the dog to a new home if it doesn't work out. As hard as it would be for me, usually my parents know when enough is enough. I just wish they'd give me this second chance. I was asking for a Boxer, but I know that'd be a large dog in the house they aren't ready for. And, one as wired as a terrier too.
I also said if they let me get the puppy I'd sell my birds which I still will most likely do here soon anyway (4 doves who DRIVE them insane with their nonstop cooind)
I want honest opinions, especially those from adults who have kids. What would you do in my situation?
I'm sure the best idea is to just forget the whole thing, but in a few weeks I'll have all these feeling rushing back to me when another cute face in a litter looks up at me.
You're 20 and still living with your parents.
That means you're likely rather immature, not mentally fit to take care of an animal permanently (it's rather different than feeding them at the shelter where they leave again after a few days).
Your parents are quite right. They realise that in a few weeks or months you're going to slack on taking care of the animal, leaving the task to them more and more.
And do NOT get a dog when you live alone. Dogs need company, need to be walked several times a day.
If you're gone to work or college from 7AM to 6PM or longer every day you can't do that, leaving the animal alone for so long is tantamount to animal cruelty IMO.
Would you be allowed to take the dog home for a 'trial' period - perhaps this would give your parents the opportunity to experience having another dog around and seeing that having 2 dogs isn't much different to having just 1.
Could you play the 'heart' card and simply take the dog home saying if you didn't take it, it was going to be destroyed - I'm not encouraging you to lie of course, but maybe if the dog was in front of them your parents would soften up a little.
If they're really resolved not to have another dog then perhaps there's nothing you can do to change your parents' minds, they might just be scared that once you bring one dog home you'll end up with a zoo there as it gets harder to say 'no'!
Have a think about the trial period - a weekend or few days might be enough to persuade everyone :)
Honestly I understand that you want a puppy but I think your parents are right. You should just get your own apartment that allows pets and then get a dog...It wouldn't be fair to get the puppy on impulse of how cute they are. A dog is a 15 year commitment. Where will you be in 15 years? Why don't you get a more relaxed dog like a Shih Tzu. Maybe then they would allow you. Also Shih Tzu don't shed...
I am 18 and have been asking for a puppy for the last few months. I finally am getting one. I thought it all through and I know I am ready for her. Show your parents you have thought everything through.
Also you have to ask yourself if you are just all excited about the cute puppies or you are actually willing to make a commitment to this dog for 15 years.
The best thing to do would be to wait until your future is sure before getting another dog. Move out and get a place of your own. Pay the bills for many months before getting a dog and then prove your parents wrong.
Taking a dog to the SPCA because of some behavioral issues is irresponsible. The responsible thing to do would have been to get that dog proper training. I'd be reluctant to allow you to have another dog if I were your parents too.
Also, please consider adopting from a local shelter vs. buying a dog from a breeder. You can find JRTs at shelters too.
Hi there, I'm really sorry to be a bit harsh, but... I think you should concentrate on finding your own home first, and then get a dog. Maybe this will give you the incentive to move out of home - maybe a flat share with other dog owners? Put an ad up in your vet surgery looking for a flat share? Your mum does have a point, especially if she's at home all day looking after your dog while you're at work! You have your whole life in front of you to give a dog a good, stable, permanent home. I'm 32 and left home at 16 - I've always had dogs, and no one can tell me how many or what sort as I have my own home! I think if you're not mature enough, or financially able, to live on your own and fend for yourself then you're not mature enough or financially able to look after a dog. A puppy needs loads of input, time, training and energy, and who's going to be giving this to your puppy while you're at work? Your mum? You say you feel like a childless woman amoungst your friends - but a puppy is a massive responsibility - would you have a baby and then go to work, expecting your mum to look after it? I'm sure you'll be a great dog owner one day, when the time is right. This isn't the time yet. be patient.
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